Why did I not get much sleep last night?

You may think it had something to do with this little bundle...

Or this one...

But it was because of this problem:

Yup, a pot of bottles/nipples/soothers that was boiled way too long! So long, that by the time we discovered it, the house had filled with smoke. It smelled terrible! We packed both kids in the car after midnight, and drove around while our place aired out. We found a gas station, got drinks, and listened to Josiah talk more than he ever has. He was so hyper! We thought he might fall back asleep in the car, but he stayed up for the whole ride! It was really funny to listen to him talk. Because he was woken up out of a deep sleep and didn't really understand what was happening, his stories were a little crazier than usual!

When we got home (around 2 am) it smelled a lot better, and we thought it would be fine to sleep. That's when Elwin needed to be fed...it was a very long night!

PS- One person in this house is no longer permitted to clean bottles. I won't say who.

Update

We are slowly getting used to family life with four, although there have been lots of bumps along the way!

Josiah is adjusting to the role of big brother. He is doing a fantastic job! He loves to hold Elwin and feed him. He is also anxious to have Elwin join in the fun. Sometimes he is uncertain of Elwin. He doesn't like the crying, and frequently joins in; however, he is getting better with this. Josiah has been more emotional overall, and he is often not able to tell us why. All of this is understandable, given the drastic changes, but it is difficult for us to watch him go through this.

Elwin is an adorable baby. He is super-cuddly and soft. He smiles often and we are pretty sure he has laughed a couple of times. Although squishy and new, he is a wiry little guy and already rolls from back to side to front regularly. He is usually laid back, but can be quite feisty when he's trying to communicate. Elwin has had some feeding issues which have made life difficult at times. He can only take in small amounts, and feeds frequently (and then sometimes goes way too long between feedings). Nights and days are now mixed up, after two beautiful weeks of sleeping at night! I can't believe this little guy will be one month old tomorrow. The time has gone by quickly.

Chris sprained his back the week after we came home from the hospital, and he is slowly recovering. He had a lot of pain to manage for a couple of weeks, and found it very difficult to keep up. He is now back to his regular summer work schedule, finishing up at his old office for two days a week and taking clients at his new office for two days. He is really enjoying his new space and is excited about his new business.

I am now a mother of two...feeling quite overwhelmed with how I will make things work. So far, I have had an overwhelming amount of support from family, friends, and our church family. Without this, I don't think we would have made it! But I am now needing to take on more responsibilities, including administrative tasks for Chris' business. If I was not recovering from a c-section, then it might be a little easier. I still can't bend down and reach things close to the floor, which makes caring for our toddler and our home somewhat challenging! I am also wrestling with Elwin's feeding issues, and feel that I need to make some important decisions regarding this in the next couple of weeks. On top of caring for my family, I am trying to figure out how to make work-related phone calls and do paperwork from a bustling home that seemingly never sleeps at the same time!

But when I look at these three smiling faces...

...I am so grateful for the way God has blessed our family, and I know He'll see us through all of the difficulties we are facing now.

Thank-you again to all of you who have cared for our family in so many different ways!!

(BTW- The pictues of Josiah and Elwin were taken by my cousin when she was here visiting, and I love them!)

Chris has often joked about needing a paternity test done on our boys...I guess there is no need to wonder about this little one!!

I can't quite capture just how much they resemble each other, but it's pretty cute! Of course, baby looks can change so we'll see in another few months.

Birth

I thought I would share some details about Elwin's birth story for those who haven't already heard enough!

We went into the hospital at 6:00 in the morning on June 28th for a planned C-section. They prepped me and I waited for about an hour. Thankfully, my OBG was scheduled to do the surgery. She had also done my surgery for Josiah, and she was great!

I went into the operating room around 8:05 for the epidural. This was not a fun experience. The anesthesiologist tried multiple times without success before she was able to get it. She was also very unprofessional and condescending to the nurses, so there was a horrible tension in the room.

I was getting very anxious and upset, until I closed my eyes and prayed. I felt peace, and like God was there. I knew that others were praying too. God reminded me that He had made me stronger through all of the difficulties, and that I could get through this. This seemed to shift things for me, and I held onto this even during my recovery.

I remember feeling very nauseous, and I kept asking for Chris because they started the surgery this time without him. He was brought in just before they saw the head. The surgery was awful because I felt everything, but without pain. Then they took the baby out, and I heard him and saw him. He was so amazing! His Apgar score was 9/10, then 10/10 a couple minutes later, so he got to stay with us! This was a huge answer to prayer because Josiah had gone to the NICU when he was born and it was a horrible experience. There was something about having the baby right there that made all of the other not-so-pleasant things seems more tolerable.

This is one of the first pictures taken of him:

Elwin was a little unsettled for the first couple hours, and he kept his face covered with his hands for a long time!

Here is a picture of the first time Elwin and Josiah met:

Overall, I do not think that things could have gone any better. My heart was stable throughout the surgery and has been since. Thanks to all of you who prayed for us through this, and for the support you have shown in so many ways. We have felt very blessed and cared for!

Baby Elwin

Just wanted to let those of you know who haven't heard that we welcomed Elwin into our family on June 28th at 8:44 a.m. He was 9 lbs. 3 1/2 ounces and measured 21 1/4 inches long at birth. He is a very sweet little guy who sleeps very well so far. Here are a few pictures of his first couple of weeks:

Josiah is doing well with the baby so far. He needs a few reminders to be gentle, not to jump on the baby, etc... but he is mostly excited to show him off. Josiah's biggest struggle seems to have been with my slow recovery from the C-section, and Chris' back injury (he sprained his back after we were home from the hospital for a few days). Here he is with his new baby brother:

For Father's Day, Josiah picked a card out for Chris all by himself with no prompting from me. This is what he chose:

If you are familiar with Chris' family, you'll know that many of them love humourous cards. I guess Josiah has a knack for it already. And the potty humour comes as no surprise either. Nothing makes him laugh louder right now than bathroom words.

On the topic of potty, Josiah has been having an amazing couple of weeks of potty training success. Although he is still a little tentative about using the potty while he is in the care of others, he has had very few accidents with us, and is even finally doing '#2' in the toilet- yay! He's refusing to wear diapers or pull-ups most of the time, even out of the house.

I am very excited about his progress, and am hoping that he doesn't regress for too long after the baby arrives. One thing that I am frustrated with right now is when I think Josiah is using the potty as a stall tactic or for attention because he know's that I won't say no just in case it's for real. Anyone else have a doddler-type personality that tried to take advantage of potty time? If so, I would love to hear about how you handled it! I don't want to discourage him, and I want him to trust that he can go anytime he asks, but it has gotten a little ridiculous at times. Maybe it's something I need to wait out a bit until he is more established, but I'm just not sure.

Anyway, here is to the hope of only having one kid in diapers within the next month!

"Just Have Faith..."

I have heard these words so many times. I have probably said them enough times too, especially in my earlier years. The times that they have hurt the most were the times they were intended as an encouragement after something had gone wrong.

Most recently, I have heard these words as a 'reassurance' that I and this baby would be okay, despite the high risk pregnancy and my heart condition. I think what makes them the hardest is that I feel like if things go wrong, it's because I didn't have faith...didn't pray hard enough. Or even that the people around me didn't have enough faith.

If this were true, my pregnancy with Josiah would not have turned out well. Before he came along, we had three miscarriages. The ironic thing is that my faith seemed to dwindle with each disappointment, and when I was finally pregnant with Josiah I didn't believe that it would turn out well until the end when I saw him alive.

Why did God save that pregnancy and not the others? I can say for sure that it had absolutely nothing to do with my faith, or the intensity of my prayers. It had nothing to do with how great or how terrible I was being. It definitely did not work out because I deserved for it to.

This may be one of the biggest faith struggles I have experienced. I still don't get it, but I heard a teaching a while ago that really helped me pull my thoughts together on this. Although it is focused specifically on faith and healing (when God chooses to heal some and not others, and how that is connected to our faith), it really helped me sort through all of the feelings that I've had surrounding this topic, and why God did not choose to heal my body or our unborn babies at that time. If you have a chance to listen to it, I highly recommend it.

Here is the website:

http://kleefeld.ca/churches/kcc/sermons (paste this into your address bar- go to "Healing & Faith in the Gospels & Acts")

(It is presented by the pastor of the church we attended while Chris was in seminary. He and the church community blessed us profoundly while we were there, and we continue to be challenged by his solid, honest teachings.)