Baby Elwin

Just wanted to let those of you know who haven't heard that we welcomed Elwin into our family on June 28th at 8:44 a.m. He was 9 lbs. 3 1/2 ounces and measured 21 1/4 inches long at birth. He is a very sweet little guy who sleeps very well so far. Here are a few pictures of his first couple of weeks:

Josiah is doing well with the baby so far. He needs a few reminders to be gentle, not to jump on the baby, etc... but he is mostly excited to show him off. Josiah's biggest struggle seems to have been with my slow recovery from the C-section, and Chris' back injury (he sprained his back after we were home from the hospital for a few days). Here he is with his new baby brother:

Third Trimester

As I head into the final phase, here are some reflections about the pregnancy so far:

- At times, it seems to go by very quickly and at other times it drags on.

- I have been feeling more emotional lately, and dreading the upcoming C-section. I think as it gets closer, I am remembering the horrors and I just don't think anything can make me feel ready to do that again (although there isn't much choice now!).

- In trying to prepare Josiah, we have been reading books about new babies and about being a big brother. Not that he'll really understand until it hits, but I want to know a little bit about what will happen. I remember a lady telling me once that she told her 2-year-old daughter that she was going to the hospital to have a baby, but she never told her that they would be coming home. Lots of emotional distress and tantrums followed, until they realized that the little girl just needed to hear that her mother actually was returning home in the end. After hearing that, I want him to have as many details as he can understand at his level!

- Physically, things are staying pretty much the same, so that is good news for my heart. I have had chest pains and palpitations and weakness and lots of tiredness, but as long as nothing is getting worse they told me not to worry.

- I love being pregnant this time of year rather than in the summer...no swelling!!

- I cancelled my next ultrasound. I feel like because of my heart stuff and being placed in a high risk group that they are going little overboard with the testing. So I called and told them I'm not doing it. I think I would be more inclined if it made any difference, or of there were things they could do to help. But at this point, there is nothing they will find that will change the course of the pregnancy. And I am tired of trying to find childcare, finding parking at the hospital, going to appointments, and hearing nothing new.

- We still don't have a name, but I think have narrowed it down to a couple of choices. In a pinch (like having the baby early) we could come up with something we are both happy with.

- After reading that about 90% of babies survive if delivered at the place I am now, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Not that I want the baby to come this early, but after having so many miscarriages, I don't think that I really start getting excited until I am past the risky part.

- Although we did not with Josiah, for this baby we decided to find out the gender. We thought it would make things much easier for organizing and getting ready. So...



...we'll be bring home another BOY! We are both very excited about this! It has been much easier to get ready too, because we have lots of boy stuff. We also know a bit about what to expect. It is crazy that so far on Chris' side of the family there are four boys (this one will make five), and one girl, and on my side there are three boys (this one will make four).

- He's moving around lots, and reminding me that he's still there. This is reassuring, and has not been as painful as in the last pregnancy. I think he is probably active in a normal way (not an acrobatic, insane, "give me more space" kind of way like the last time!). Already at this point in my last pregnancy, I had very bad bruising inside of my rib cage from all of the kicks and turns. I'm not feeling beat up yet, so this is good! He does keep me up at night though, and seems to be awake a lot throughout the night and early morning at this point.

- I am getting tired of maternity clothes, and can't wait to burn them when I am done with this. I think back to my first pregnancy and how excited I was about the 'cute' baby-bump clothes...if only I had known! Now when I am out, I just feel like shopping for nice, regular clothes again, but I don't because I think it would be way too depressing!

- I am feeling excited and nervous to meet this little guy in a few weeks! What will he look like? Will he be quiet and reserved, or outgoing and sociable like his big brother? What kinds of toys and activities will he enjoy? Will he like to be held? Will his name suit him? So many questions! I keep thinking that unlike choosing a spouse that you will spend forever with, we don't get to choose our kids. Their little personalities can delight us and drive us crazy (sometimes all in one day!). I am anxious to know him.

- Although in an ideal world I would love to have lots of kids, I am a bit relieved to think that this is the last time I will be pregnant! It has been an honor, but I'm not sure that I will ever miss it!

- Only ten or eleven weeks left to go!

The Second One

I've been thinking a lot about our second baby lately, as I have sixteen weeks left to go before he/she arrives (at the most). Although I am really looking forward to meeting this little one, and to not being pregnant anymore, I have been wondering how our family will change.

It made me sad today when I realized that most of the special things Josiah and I do together will come to an end. Not that I can't plan special outings for just the two of us, but I know that it will look much different than the time we have now.

I am wondering how he will handle the change. In many ways, I know it will be good for him, but I am concerned about how the transition will affect him.

Although I always hated (and still do) hearing people say, "Enjoy your sleep now while you still can," it has occurred to me that we are in for some drastic schedule changes. Being in my thirties, I don't do nearly as well now as I used to without sleep. Even if the baby is a good sleeper, there are usually a few weeks of several night feedings (or like in Josiah's case where he had nights and days mixed up, so he was awake all night long as a newborn).

When I think about trying to take a toddler and a newborn to the grocery store, or a doctor's office, I cringe! I don't know how people do it! I'm sure I'll figure it out when we get there.

I try not to worry or think about the details too much, and am so thankful for this new life. Just working through some worries (and hormones!).

19 Weeks

Nineteen weeks already! This pregnancy is almost half over, and I feel like I am behind on a lot. I don't even have a pregnancy memory journal yet! You'd think since Chris and I are both second kids that we'd be more on the ball to make sure that we had everything just as organized for this baby as for the first, but we just don't have the time anymore! I am planning to start the journal in the next couple of weeks.

Here are a few updates on the pregnancy:

- The baby has been moving a lot, and even rolled over for the first time last night. I forgot that feeling until it happened. When I say moving a lot, it is still just a fraction of the performance that Josiah put on when he was in there! We are hoping this means that the new baby might be calm?!

- I am still having a ton of appointments, usually at least one a week. It's a bit tiring, but I am thankful for the care at the same time. I am considered high-risk because of my heart issue caused by a birth defect. The symptoms have just surfaced during this pregnancy and I have not been feeling well because of this. My heart is functioning around 40%, which explains the extreme fatigue and weakness (in addition to the usual exhaustion that comes with pregnancy). After the baby comes, I will likely have heart surgery. This has increased my anxiety...a C-section followed by heart surgery. Not looking forward to the summer!

- Next week is our 20 week ultrasound. I am excited, but very nervous. There is so much that can go wrong, and I am hoping for good news. So far, the baby seems really healthy, but because of the heart issues I've had happening I'll be relieved to have proof that the baby is developing well.

- Chris and I are torn on whether to find out the gender or not. We didn't for Josiah, and it was such an exciting surprise; however it would be much easier this time around to know...we'll see!

- Josiah seems to be getting more excited about the baby. He's been talking to my belly a lot. A couple of weeks ago, he came over and said, "BABY! I want you to come out and play now. I'll share..." He went on to list all of the toys he would share. When I told him the baby would have to stay in for a little while longer, he tried to climb on my stomach and said that he wanted to go in too!

- I have narrowed my name choices down to three or four for each gender. I love the girl name I have picked out. The boy names are harder, but they were last time too. I don't think that Chris has given much thought to names yet, or maybe he just hasn't shared with me yet. He has given some suggestions for middle names that he likes.

- Although (as most of you know) I really dislike being pregnant, I am finding myself sad thinking that this might be the last one. Chris and I had talked about having two, so it seems like this will be it.

- It is really nice this time around to not be focused on stuff! I found when I was pregnant with Josiah that I was so preoccupied with getting things ready (because we had so little). This time, I feel prepared, so I am more focused on the baby than the room!

- In preparation, we have gotten Josiah a new bed a a new dresser so the baby can move into the nursery set when he/she arrives. We were so fortunate to have found a bed and dresser on a second-hand website. So far, we have only spent $200 on all furniture and bedding. Although the bed and dresser are not a perfect match, they are very close, and work really well together. Here is Josiah helping me wash the new dresser:



He was a little upset in the car after we picked up the dresser because he thought it was another new bed. He kept saying, "No thank-you...I don't want it..." After he realized it was drawers, he was happy! When we got home, he ran into his room and started pulling clothes out of his old dresser to put in the new one. I guess he won't be sad to leave his baby set to his younger sibling!