Chris has often joked about needing a paternity test done on our boys...I guess there is no need to wonder about this little one!!

I can't quite capture just how much they resemble each other, but it's pretty cute! Of course, baby looks can change so we'll see in another few months.

Birth

I thought I would share some details about Elwin's birth story for those who haven't already heard enough!

We went into the hospital at 6:00 in the morning on June 28th for a planned C-section. They prepped me and I waited for about an hour. Thankfully, my OBG was scheduled to do the surgery. She had also done my surgery for Josiah, and she was great!

I went into the operating room around 8:05 for the epidural. This was not a fun experience. The anesthesiologist tried multiple times without success before she was able to get it. She was also very unprofessional and condescending to the nurses, so there was a horrible tension in the room.

I was getting very anxious and upset, until I closed my eyes and prayed. I felt peace, and like God was there. I knew that others were praying too. God reminded me that He had made me stronger through all of the difficulties, and that I could get through this. This seemed to shift things for me, and I held onto this even during my recovery.

I remember feeling very nauseous, and I kept asking for Chris because they started the surgery this time without him. He was brought in just before they saw the head. The surgery was awful because I felt everything, but without pain. Then they took the baby out, and I heard him and saw him. He was so amazing! His Apgar score was 9/10, then 10/10 a couple minutes later, so he got to stay with us! This was a huge answer to prayer because Josiah had gone to the NICU when he was born and it was a horrible experience. There was something about having the baby right there that made all of the other not-so-pleasant things seems more tolerable.

This is one of the first pictures taken of him:

Elwin was a little unsettled for the first couple hours, and he kept his face covered with his hands for a long time!

Here is a picture of the first time Elwin and Josiah met:

Overall, I do not think that things could have gone any better. My heart was stable throughout the surgery and has been since. Thanks to all of you who prayed for us through this, and for the support you have shown in so many ways. We have felt very blessed and cared for!

Baby Elwin

Just wanted to let those of you know who haven't heard that we welcomed Elwin into our family on June 28th at 8:44 a.m. He was 9 lbs. 3 1/2 ounces and measured 21 1/4 inches long at birth. He is a very sweet little guy who sleeps very well so far. Here are a few pictures of his first couple of weeks:

Josiah is doing well with the baby so far. He needs a few reminders to be gentle, not to jump on the baby, etc... but he is mostly excited to show him off. Josiah's biggest struggle seems to have been with my slow recovery from the C-section, and Chris' back injury (he sprained his back after we were home from the hospital for a few days). Here he is with his new baby brother:

For Father's Day, Josiah picked a card out for Chris all by himself with no prompting from me. This is what he chose:

If you are familiar with Chris' family, you'll know that many of them love humourous cards. I guess Josiah has a knack for it already. And the potty humour comes as no surprise either. Nothing makes him laugh louder right now than bathroom words.

On the topic of potty, Josiah has been having an amazing couple of weeks of potty training success. Although he is still a little tentative about using the potty while he is in the care of others, he has had very few accidents with us, and is even finally doing '#2' in the toilet- yay! He's refusing to wear diapers or pull-ups most of the time, even out of the house.

I am very excited about his progress, and am hoping that he doesn't regress for too long after the baby arrives. One thing that I am frustrated with right now is when I think Josiah is using the potty as a stall tactic or for attention because he know's that I won't say no just in case it's for real. Anyone else have a doddler-type personality that tried to take advantage of potty time? If so, I would love to hear about how you handled it! I don't want to discourage him, and I want him to trust that he can go anytime he asks, but it has gotten a little ridiculous at times. Maybe it's something I need to wait out a bit until he is more established, but I'm just not sure.

Anyway, here is to the hope of only having one kid in diapers within the next month!

"Just Have Faith..."

I have heard these words so many times. I have probably said them enough times too, especially in my earlier years. The times that they have hurt the most were the times they were intended as an encouragement after something had gone wrong.

Most recently, I have heard these words as a 'reassurance' that I and this baby would be okay, despite the high risk pregnancy and my heart condition. I think what makes them the hardest is that I feel like if things go wrong, it's because I didn't have faith...didn't pray hard enough. Or even that the people around me didn't have enough faith.

If this were true, my pregnancy with Josiah would not have turned out well. Before he came along, we had three miscarriages. The ironic thing is that my faith seemed to dwindle with each disappointment, and when I was finally pregnant with Josiah I didn't believe that it would turn out well until the end when I saw him alive.

Why did God save that pregnancy and not the others? I can say for sure that it had absolutely nothing to do with my faith, or the intensity of my prayers. It had nothing to do with how great or how terrible I was being. It definitely did not work out because I deserved for it to.

This may be one of the biggest faith struggles I have experienced. I still don't get it, but I heard a teaching a while ago that really helped me pull my thoughts together on this. Although it is focused specifically on faith and healing (when God chooses to heal some and not others, and how that is connected to our faith), it really helped me sort through all of the feelings that I've had surrounding this topic, and why God did not choose to heal my body or our unborn babies at that time. If you have a chance to listen to it, I highly recommend it.

Here is the website:

http://kleefeld.ca/churches/kcc/sermons (paste this into your address bar- go to "Healing & Faith in the Gospels & Acts")

(It is presented by the pastor of the church we attended while Chris was in seminary. He and the church community blessed us profoundly while we were there, and we continue to be challenged by his solid, honest teachings.)

Happy Father's Day to all of the amazing dads out there!

Here's a picture of my favorite dad!

My kids are so incredibly blessed to have a father who loves God and his family. He is very involved at home, and does more than his share. He is kind and generous, and is a great example of hard work and committment. He has integrity and shows respect to those around him. He is also soft-hearted and affectionate, and not afraid to talk about things openly. Along with all of these great things, he loves fun and adventure, which keeps things interesting at our house.

When I married Chris, I knew he would be a great husband, and hoped he would be a great dad too. He has exceeded my expectations, and I am so thankful for him!

Happy Father's Day!

Although I am very uncomfortable and tired, I am trying to enjoy these last couple of weeks with my boys before our new addition arrives. Here are some pictures that we took on the walking path by our house: