19 Weeks

Nineteen weeks already! This pregnancy is almost half over, and I feel like I am behind on a lot. I don't even have a pregnancy memory journal yet! You'd think since Chris and I are both second kids that we'd be more on the ball to make sure that we had everything just as organized for this baby as for the first, but we just don't have the time anymore! I am planning to start the journal in the next couple of weeks.

Here are a few updates on the pregnancy:

- The baby has been moving a lot, and even rolled over for the first time last night. I forgot that feeling until it happened. When I say moving a lot, it is still just a fraction of the performance that Josiah put on when he was in there! We are hoping this means that the new baby might be calm?!

- I am still having a ton of appointments, usually at least one a week. It's a bit tiring, but I am thankful for the care at the same time. I am considered high-risk because of my heart issue caused by a birth defect. The symptoms have just surfaced during this pregnancy and I have not been feeling well because of this. My heart is functioning around 40%, which explains the extreme fatigue and weakness (in addition to the usual exhaustion that comes with pregnancy). After the baby comes, I will likely have heart surgery. This has increased my anxiety...a C-section followed by heart surgery. Not looking forward to the summer!

- Next week is our 20 week ultrasound. I am excited, but very nervous. There is so much that can go wrong, and I am hoping for good news. So far, the baby seems really healthy, but because of the heart issues I've had happening I'll be relieved to have proof that the baby is developing well.

- Chris and I are torn on whether to find out the gender or not. We didn't for Josiah, and it was such an exciting surprise; however it would be much easier this time around to know...we'll see!

- Josiah seems to be getting more excited about the baby. He's been talking to my belly a lot. A couple of weeks ago, he came over and said, "BABY! I want you to come out and play now. I'll share..." He went on to list all of the toys he would share. When I told him the baby would have to stay in for a little while longer, he tried to climb on my stomach and said that he wanted to go in too!

- I have narrowed my name choices down to three or four for each gender. I love the girl name I have picked out. The boy names are harder, but they were last time too. I don't think that Chris has given much thought to names yet, or maybe he just hasn't shared with me yet. He has given some suggestions for middle names that he likes.

- Although (as most of you know) I really dislike being pregnant, I am finding myself sad thinking that this might be the last one. Chris and I had talked about having two, so it seems like this will be it.

- It is really nice this time around to not be focused on stuff! I found when I was pregnant with Josiah that I was so preoccupied with getting things ready (because we had so little). This time, I feel prepared, so I am more focused on the baby than the room!

- In preparation, we have gotten Josiah a new bed a a new dresser so the baby can move into the nursery set when he/she arrives. We were so fortunate to have found a bed and dresser on a second-hand website. So far, we have only spent $200 on all furniture and bedding. Although the bed and dresser are not a perfect match, they are very close, and work really well together. Here is Josiah helping me wash the new dresser:



He was a little upset in the car after we picked up the dresser because he thought it was another new bed. He kept saying, "No thank-you...I don't want it..." After he realized it was drawers, he was happy! When we got home, he ran into his room and started pulling clothes out of his old dresser to put in the new one. I guess he won't be sad to leave his baby set to his younger sibling!

Random Update

'Helping' mommy bake has become a new favorite pass time:



We've been seeing a lot of foxes lately on the marsh:



Having fun with boxes:







And lots of fun in the snow!

How does this happen so quickly? I feel like I was just getting the nursery ready for Josiah a short while ago, and now he is saying good-bye to his crib!

We had purchased a mattress before Christmas, and were just waiting for the right bed frame to come along. We found it on Saturday (hooray for second hand furniture!). By Sunday, Josiah insisted that he sleep in it for his nap, and there was no turning back.

I had a really hard time because I was not aware that Saturday night would be his last night in a crib! I know he is old enough and more than ready...but he's always ready to let go and move on before me!

Here are a couple of pictures of him in his new bed:





Finally sleeping (it still takes us while to get him to sleep because he is so excited)...



What surprised us is that he didn't try to get out at all, and he still hollers for us when he wakes up like he always did. This is a huge relief, and those of you who know Josiah can just imagine what he might be up to if he decided to let himself out!

His room now needs a lot of work, because we don't have the bed rail yet (my mom got one for us, but we probably won't have it for a while), so for now he is blocked in by furniture! I also have not done any accessorizing at all, so I'll post pictures of his toddler room when I have some of the details taken care of.



At least now the crib will be empty and waiting for this new little one by summer!

Blessings...

It seems like God steps in when he knows we can't take anything else going wrong, and he encourages us. This has happened to me in the past couple of weeks, and I am so thankful to Him and those he has used to bless our family. Here are just a few of the things He has used to encourage us:

- I had a really great appointment with a specialist who deals with high risk pregnancies at the hospital. She explained more to me than anyone has so far regarding my heart issues and the impact this is having on my pregnancy. She was compassionate and understanding at a time when I felt 'doctored out.'

- My mom came to visit and help with Josiah and housework...need I say more?!

- We went to visit some very special friends on the weekend, and our whole family was encouraged. We also went swimming, and I didn't have to cook all weekend!

- So many people have emailed or called to tell us that they are thinking of us and praying. It feels good to hear that, and reminds me I need to let people know more when I am praying for them too.

- A few people have offered to help out with Josiah during all of the appointments I have had/will continue to have.

- A good friend took Josiah for whole morning so I could have some time to myself. This was an amazing treat, and even the thought of it kept me going strong this week.

- Someone offered to do errands/get groceries for us if we needed it.

- Another family member who lives away paid for us to get take-out for a meal so I wouldn't have to cook on that night.

- A looming financial situation seems to have been cleared, which will change a lot of things in our future.

- Chris continues to step in and home (beyond what he always has done) to do so many extras. As always, this is done without complaint and without making me feel guilty at all.

God has used this very negative situation to show me that I am not alone, something that I have struggled with for a long time. It's not that people haven't been kind before, but I have always just done what's had to be done myself. I think I have believed that if I wanted to be cared for, I had to do that for myself because no one else would. Being sick has humbled me, and made me realize how many people care and how much I need them.

I am so thankful for all of these blessings in the midst of my difficulties!

Before the haircut...



Josiah was a little uncertain, but he sat so perfectly still!



His new haircut is pretty cute (although I just realized that I did not take a picture after the cut was done!). It reminds me of how old he is getting. He is also potty training right now. Potty training is a full time job for me and him, and I really hope it can happen before I am too pregnant or the baby arrives. I decided to take it very seriously this week after visiting with a friend. Her little guy is two months older than Josiah, and fully trained...even at night! She told me about her strategies, which contradicted a lot of what I've been reading, but made a lot of sense. So I decided it was time to see if Josiah was ready (the last time we tried, he wasn't really ready).

This week, Josiah has been without a diaper for most of the hours we've been at home, except when he is sleeping. He is very proud, and is starting to hate it when I put a diaper on him (like this morning when he went out with Chris to do some errands). I guess that's a good sign! This is so much work, but I know it will be worth it when we are done with diapers for good!

Lately...

- I have been reading...too much! I always find that if my nose is buried in a book for too long, it's not a good thing. It means I'm avoiding life!

- It has been snowing a lot! It is very pretty, but I haven't had a lot of opportunities to enjoy it. Hopefully there will be time on the weekend.

- Josiah got his hair cut at a salon for the first time. It was worth the $12 to not have to fight with him. He was so perfect for the stylist, whereas with me lately he will not stay still. I'll be taking him again!

- We've been missing some of our regular activities that were suspended over the holidays. I am really looking forward to things starting up again next week!

- I was thankful for a good talk with a friend who let me vent my frustrations with out judgement, and offered to pray.

- Chris has been sick a lot, which is discouraging for him and for us. I think Josiah has been missing their time together, and is acting out in response.

- I have been frustrated with toddler behaviors, and repeating myself a thousand times a day. I have been lacking patience, and need some fresh perspective. I am thankful for the resources that I have been using on raising a strong-willed child, but the bottom line is that it's just plain exhausting (even without being pregnant!).

- We made the mistake of leaving Christmas stuff up too long. I am finding it hard to make the time to put everything away, so it is stacked in our bedroom and living room. I am looking forward to reclaiming my space!

- We were blessed with a supper, that was dropped off at our house by someone who was thinking of us. It was such a blessing!

- I've been meaning to start that prenatal yoga video, but just never feel like it. It is my goal to be well into it by this time next week.

- Although I am thankful for my doctors and how keen they are, I am feeling frustrated by the number of appointments I have for this pregnancy. Being considered high-risk is exhausting. I may be refusing some of this care at some point, but for now I will play along.

- Josiah has been talking to my belly a lot. He says, "Hi baby," over and over as he pats or rubs my stomach. It's kind of sweet!

- I have been thinking about preschool options for the fall, and have yet to decide what the best thing is for Josiah.

- I've been trying not to be stressed about employment, finances, short maternity leave, and what life will look like after this baby arrives.

- I've been missing time to myself.

- I've been bad at blogging! Will try to share some new pictures soon!

First Trimester

As I am entering week fifteen of this pregnancy, I thought I would share a few details about what's been happening.

- I found out I was pregnant at the first of November, although I knew a couple of weeks before I took the test.

- Nausea has been brutal, just as in my pregnancy with Josiah. It has gotten a little better in the past week, but certain sights and smells are still difficult for me.

-Singing has been very difficult since I've been so nauseated.

- I had my first ultrasound around 7.5 weeks because I am a bit high risk with all of the miscarriages in the past. This was very reassuring, to see the baby's heartbeat, and know that everything seemed okay.

- I have had two appointments with my OBG, and everything with the baby seems great.

- My biggest problem (which did not surface in the last pregnancy) has been the irregular heartbeat and palpitations. It is caused by the increase of blood flow during pregnancy (coupled with a complication I was born with that was never corrected). Although this does not hurt the baby at all, it is often very uncomfortable for me, and leaves me feeling weak and dizzy. I have been tested by a cardiologist, and am waiting to see how this will impact my delivery process.

- My last OGB appointment was on Thursday. Chris and Josiah came to hear the baby's heartbeat. Josiah lifted his shirt and said, "My turn," after the doctor removed the Doppler from my stomach. He then ran into the waiting room and yelled, "I saw mommy's button!" Since that appointment, he's been saying, "Baby goes, 'Boop, boop.'" (like the sound of the heartbeat)

- I am officially in maternity clothes.

- Once again, I have started getting unsolicited advice about pregnancy, kids, having more kids...didn't miss that! Along with the advice comes brag stories from other women(you know the kind..."not one stretch mark after six kids"..."birthed a thirteen pound kid and after twenty-three hours of labour and no drugs I didn't even need stitches!")

- This pregnancy is much different than the first. I am not as worried. I don't have as much time to get wrapped up in details...this is a good thing!

- I have my next ultrasound the first week of February.

- We do not know the gender or the names that we like yet.

- Cravings= fresh tasting things, like fruit, tomatoes, and sherbet.

- Aversions- anything spicy or heavy or greasy, meat, and creamy dairy.

- It is easier this time than with Josiah because I am not working outside the home. This means I can nap if I need to by the afternoon, and I can slack off a bit (okay, a LOT!) on my chores and I'm not going to be fired! When I was working, it was so fast paced, and I felt so depleted; however, the weekends were a little more restful than they are with a full-time toddler at home!

- I have decided that I really don't like being pregnant. That sounds terrible. I am so grateful for this privilege, and I know it is a blessing. It only lasts for a short time. I just don't like how I feel, but I know it'll be worth it!