Today, I am thankful for...

...boys sleeping at the same time in the backseat of my car, which led to an unexpected coffee break in the driveway for me!

...chubby cheeks that smile when kissed.

...a house that was way too crowded for Josiah's birthday. It reminded me of how blessed we are to be surrounded by too many wonderful people who love us and our kids.

...a washer and dryer that never seem to have a break!

...the opportunity to meet some needs around us.

...being organized (and a father-in-law who is always willing to fix and assemble...and a cousin who builds beautiful things for my home!).

...rain, which has forced me to clean and sort inside.

...my husband, who helps and supports me in so many ways.

...the chance to exercise and swim lots, and that I can do all of these things again.

...good friends who give, love, listen, and support at all the right times.

...Josiah's care and concern for others. It touches my heart and makes me feel like there is hope beyond the demands and tantrums of toddlerhood.

...my mom, who gives endlessly and selflessly to my family.

...prayer. It is the only thing that brings comfort when I feel helpless and heartbroken for loved ones who are struggling.

...the grace of God that I need so desperately each and every day!

Blessings...

It seems like God steps in when he knows we can't take anything else going wrong, and he encourages us. This has happened to me in the past couple of weeks, and I am so thankful to Him and those he has used to bless our family. Here are just a few of the things He has used to encourage us:

- I had a really great appointment with a specialist who deals with high risk pregnancies at the hospital. She explained more to me than anyone has so far regarding my heart issues and the impact this is having on my pregnancy. She was compassionate and understanding at a time when I felt 'doctored out.'

- My mom came to visit and help with Josiah and housework...need I say more?!

- We went to visit some very special friends on the weekend, and our whole family was encouraged. We also went swimming, and I didn't have to cook all weekend!

- So many people have emailed or called to tell us that they are thinking of us and praying. It feels good to hear that, and reminds me I need to let people know more when I am praying for them too.

- A few people have offered to help out with Josiah during all of the appointments I have had/will continue to have.

- A good friend took Josiah for whole morning so I could have some time to myself. This was an amazing treat, and even the thought of it kept me going strong this week.

- Someone offered to do errands/get groceries for us if we needed it.

- Another family member who lives away paid for us to get take-out for a meal so I wouldn't have to cook on that night.

- A looming financial situation seems to have been cleared, which will change a lot of things in our future.

- Chris continues to step in and home (beyond what he always has done) to do so many extras. As always, this is done without complaint and without making me feel guilty at all.

God has used this very negative situation to show me that I am not alone, something that I have struggled with for a long time. It's not that people haven't been kind before, but I have always just done what's had to be done myself. I think I have believed that if I wanted to be cared for, I had to do that for myself because no one else would. Being sick has humbled me, and made me realize how many people care and how much I need them.

I am so thankful for all of these blessings in the midst of my difficulties!

Today, I am feeling so thankful, and needed to share.

 In the midst of busyness (and sickness), God has given me a gift today.

He has allowed my heart to pause, and give thanks for these guys, and so much more.

It was two years ago around this time that I completely surrendered my dream of having a child to God. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. That fall, I had miscarried our third baby. I didn't know what God had in store for our future. It seems like such a long time ago, but really it hasn't been all that long since God has blessed us with Josiah. I was talking to my mom when she was up last, and we realized that if the other three pregnancies had worked out, there would probably not be a Josiah in our family today (Chris definitely didn't want 4 kids!). It made me that much more thankful for him!

Since that time, God has been slowly been restoring my hope. This Christmas season reminds me of that more than any other. I have hope that if God carried Jesus from the manger to the cross, He will see me through whatever he has planned...and even give me BIG, unexpected blessings along the way!

Blessings on you all as you prepare to celebrate this amazing season!