Catch Up

I guess it seems that I have been too busy to blog much lately, but I wanted to share a few new pictures.

We all had the stomach flu...for days. It was so terrible!:

The boys enjoying some down time:

Taking advantage of the last of our snow, which has been gone for a while now:

'Sharing' snow:

Birthdays:

Playing Daddy's new guitar:

Visiting:

Standing everywhere:

Painting with food dye:

Making a marble run:

Celebrating St Patrick's Day:

Going for walks and hanging out at the park:

And, 'swing-face':

Lately, I have been...

...making liquid laundry soap. I have made my own powdered detergent for over two years, but I think the liquid does a better job (and I also think it seems cheaper).

...feeling very unmotivated to do my house chores.

...missing my aerobics classes, but making myself start yoga this week.

...wanting to have a date for my heart surgery.

...wondering if Elwin will need heart surgery too, and still waiting to meet with the pediatrician after two cancelled appointments.

...thinking about work options and wondering if I should try something new.

...looking ahead to the kind of job I would like to have after my boys are in school, and wondering if I might need to upgrade in the meantime.

...staying home too much. With two kids, this balance feels like more of a struggle for me than ever before.

...making brownies, and feeling like I may have found my perfect recipe (I will share this soon).

...feeding Elwin whole foods (baby-led weaning). He is enjoying it sometimes, although he frequently scares me with his gagging. So far, his favorites are banana strips, cantaloupe, and strawberries.

...wanting to redecorate something.

...dreading tax-time this year.

...reading a new strategy resource on tantrums, and am about to try something new.

...loving the new park that was built by our house.

...going for more walks with the kids.

...feeling uneasy about a difficult person who I need to deal with on a regular basis.

...getting rid of more baby stuff. The Bumbo was really hard to let go of...not sure why!

...enjoying a new book study on intimacy with God through worship.

...getting out of Facebook in a hurry. Although I do feel like I miss things by not being plugged into this, I know that the people who care still make an effort to contact me in other ways.

...witnessing lots of cute conversations and moments between my boys.

...trying to explain to Josiah that Elwin does not mean to be disrespectful when he hollers through our prayer times.

...appreciating Chris and all he does for our family and with the boys.

Why is it that some days seem so easy, and others are like a sand-storm? Yesterday was fun. I was home with the boys all day, Chris worked late, but it all went fairly smoothly. It's not that everything was perfect, but it was one of those days that felt enjoyable for everyone.

Here are the boys playing shadow games with a little craft we did for Groundhog Day:

Maybe I needed yesterday to get through days like today. I was at a friend's place this morning, and it was disastrous! Josiah fought over every toy, yelled at the kids, was rude and impatient and intolerable. The entire visit was spent putting out fires, and I left wondering why I bothered, or why I ever feel like it is a good idea to try and leave the house with these kids!

I don't really know how to navigate him through all of this. I want him to learn to share and play with others well, but I can only teach and model and discipline and repeat, and hope he eventually gets it. I think I worry that it will take him not having any friends before he understands. I am thankful that kids are forgiving for the most part! I wish I could forgive as easily. Sometimes I struggle with resenting these behaviours too. If it were easier, I would take him out more or make plans with friends more. I am embarrassed, and although I know it's not entirely true, I feel like it reflects my parenting. And those with easier kids and judgemental glances and comments do not make it any easier.

I think being tired does not help anything either. On top of dealing with fatigue due to my heart condition, I have not been sleeping well at all.

This is part of the problem:

I know, how could something so cute be a problem?! Well, he has taken over my room and my bed. He has not been sleeping great in his crib, so we have been bringing him into our room to avoid both boys screaming for half the night in a shared room. He has also been getting up to eat in the middle of the night for a while again. So what sleep I do get these days is shallow and interrupted. Being tired does not make for a good day at home.

I was talking with a friend about the verse, "Be still and know that I am God"- Psalm 46:10- and she reminded me that God said this in the midst of chaos and craziness. I guess He knew the parts of my life that would fall apart before I ever saw them. He knew of the things that would shatter and pull from every side. He knew all the ways I would fail and be failed each day. He knew the hopelessness and drudgery and chaos. He knew of the small blessings and joy, the ones I see so much more clearly when I pause for a minute to feel His peace.

Although I usually love running into people I know when I am shopping, last night I saw an acquaintance I didn't really have the energy to talk to, so I smiled politely, and turned around, pretending to be thoroughly engaged in the books on the shelf behind me. I hope they weren't checking out my reading interests, because as they left, I realized I was frantically browsing through a section called 'steamiest novels ever'...!

Today, Elwin turns seven months old!

Here are some things he has been up to:

- trying new foods (hesitantly)

- dealing with his first cold

- sitting up all by himself

- rubbing his tongue over his first two bottom teeth

- watching Josiah (always!)

- still crying desperately when Josiah is upset

- rolling all over the place and spinning in circles

- trying to push himself up onto his knees

- loving music

- feeling a bit shy around new people

- really enjoying toys, or anything he can get into his mouth

- getting used to the car, ans more comfortable in his next stage car seat

- laughing loudly on the swings at the park

- crying when getting dressed...laughing when getting undressed

- sucking on his socks and toes

- developing very fast reflexes

- playing in his exersaucer

- sleeping through most nights, but mostly not in his own crib

- sleeping in late if he has his own way

- sometimes feeling overstimulated by too much noise or too many people

- loving hugs and kisses, and giving lots of wet ones of his own

- wearing size 12-18 month clothing and size 4 diapers

- weighing about 24 pounds

- bathing in the big tub instead of the baby one

- not loving the camera

Lately, I have been...

...watching laundry pile up after our washer broke down. Finally bought a new one today and can't wait to get it hooked up so I can start washing again!

...feeling extremely thankful for the privilege of having laundry facilities in my place (and remembering the days when I didn't!).

...looking forward to getting our house back together after having to pull the entire contents of our laundry room into the living room to get the washer in.

...getting back into our schedule, as our regular activities resumed this week.

...pleased with how much Josiah loves his preschool.

...trying not to worry about some news.

...sorting clothes (does this job ever end, or slow down at least?!).

...exploring some part time job opportunities.

...not exercising enough, and needing to make this happen more regularly in the winter months.

...reading and learning about my kids, and God.

...not sleeping well. Elwin often sleeps in our bed, and I find it difficult to get into a deep sleep. Because the boys share a room we are having some issues with getting him to sleep in their room. It could be worse, but it could be a lot easier too.

...wondering when some things will get easier and trying not to lose hope in the process.

...enjoying inside time with my boys.

...fighting a cold (and losing miserably).

...wishing I had more time to spend with friends in my week.

...wondering where I will be in five years from now.

...recognizing some toxic things in my life, and trying to move forward despite them.

...feeling unmotivated in the kitchen. Since Christmas, I have really been struggling to get my meal planning back on track.

...celebrating and grieving the fact that Elwin will most likely be my last baby. At least we are going out on an adorable note! I just always thought I would have four. Sometimes it is hard to let go of my plans when they are obviously not God's plans.

...feeling frustrated with gluten. Why is it in everything I like?! And why are the substitutes so wretched? And why does this craziness have to start now? And if was aggravated by post-pregnancy hormones, will it eventually go away?

...catching up on Elwin's baby book and calendar. Having to make up loosely guess almost an entire months worth of content isn't so terrible (for a second kid), right?!

...going to many appointments and scheduled activities.

...feeling very busy and I'm looking forward to things slowing down a bit this week.

Me: ...scrambling around, rushing, stressing.

Josiah: "God loves you, Mommy. You don't be worried. Pray to God."

Me: "Thanks, Josiah. I really needed to be reminded of that right now." (continuing to do chores)

Josiah: "No, Mommy. You stop and pray out loud to God, right now."

Out of the mouths of babes...with a little sass thrown in!