This is such an amazing song! Our worship team did this one today, and it was such a great reminder at the start of this season to make everything I do be filtered through the grid of His sacrifice.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Today, I am feeling tired and frustrated. I can't remember the last time I felt rested, that my house felt clean, that I didn't feel overwhelmed and underwhelmed all at the same time. Please understand, I love being a mom. It is a huge blessing and privilege that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. It's just that lately I feel pushed beyond my limit, my reserves are so low, and I'm not sure how to change any of that right now.
In the last month, I have read a book about strong-willed children. I cried when I read it, especially the intro, because I felt for the first time since becoming a parent that someone had written what I am experiencing. Everything feels so hard all the time. Josiah is an amazing child, and I wouldn't change a thing about him. It is just sometimes hard to know how to parent him in a way that works for all of us. I feel like I am always saying no to the same things, disciplining for the same things, and it sometimes feels like the message is not getting through.
Probably part of the problem is the lack of care I have been able to give myself in this process. I can't remember the last time I just went out and did something purely fun for myself that did not involve kids. I don't remember the last outing that did not involve doing errands or getting groceries. I really need to change this. It's just hard. Time is always an issue. Childcare is always an issue. And energy at the end of a day is often a problem too. Chris encourages me to go out when he gets home, but after putting in a 12-14 hour work day, I just don't feel like it a lot of the time.
Sorry for the long vent. I just felt like writing all of this might help me to process it and try to change something. Just having one of those long days...Tuesday and Thursdays are super-long shifts!
In the last month, I have read a book about strong-willed children. I cried when I read it, especially the intro, because I felt for the first time since becoming a parent that someone had written what I am experiencing. Everything feels so hard all the time. Josiah is an amazing child, and I wouldn't change a thing about him. It is just sometimes hard to know how to parent him in a way that works for all of us. I feel like I am always saying no to the same things, disciplining for the same things, and it sometimes feels like the message is not getting through.
Probably part of the problem is the lack of care I have been able to give myself in this process. I can't remember the last time I just went out and did something purely fun for myself that did not involve kids. I don't remember the last outing that did not involve doing errands or getting groceries. I really need to change this. It's just hard. Time is always an issue. Childcare is always an issue. And energy at the end of a day is often a problem too. Chris encourages me to go out when he gets home, but after putting in a 12-14 hour work day, I just don't feel like it a lot of the time.
Sorry for the long vent. I just felt like writing all of this might help me to process it and try to change something. Just having one of those long days...Tuesday and Thursdays are super-long shifts!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
First Snow
Apprehensive at first...
Making snow balls...
Sticky...
Helping...
A little snack...
Still eating...
And 'first' hot chocolate to warm up...
Bedtime prayer: "Thanks for snow...it's fun...I'm going play in snow tomorrow...more hot chocolate mommy!"
Making snow balls...
Sticky...
Helping...
A little snack...
Still eating...
And 'first' hot chocolate to warm up...
Bedtime prayer: "Thanks for snow...it's fun...I'm going play in snow tomorrow...more hot chocolate mommy!"
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sorry I have not written in a while. I haven't been feeling well, but am slowly recovering. There is not much new going on with us. Here are a few things we've been doing:
1) Last week I went to visit my mom. Josiah had been asking forever when he was going to see his Grammy, and I decided that it was time. It was nice to get away, visit family, and have a break.
2) I had a horrible experience with a bag of rice from a local oriental market. I opened it, and it was crawling...literally. I could not differentiate between the rice itself, maggots, worms, etc... It was the most disgusting thing ever. I wish it had stopped there. I returned it, and then a few days later we started seeing pantry moths. We had to throw out every opened dry good, and we never found the source. We are pretty sure they hatched from something in that rice bag...never again!
3) I am eagerly planning a trip to Quebec City with my sister in December. I am so excited! We have a few really neat things planned.
4) We've been trying to take potty training to the next level, and not sure if I'M ready!
5) I received some very good news about an unexpected Christmas bonus from my old job!
6) I am grieving for a huge loss suffered by some friends this week.
7) As I learn more about parenting, I have very much appreciated a couple of books by James Dobson. Although we have chosen not to spank (and he does suggest it), there are so many other helpful strategies that I am trying. It is so hard to be consistent, loving, and have long-term vision when it comes to these issues. I fail every day, but I keep trying and praying for the wisdom that I so desperately need.
8) Due to the health issues I mentioned, I am completely off of any form of caffeine. This has been a lot easier than I thought it would be. I don't really think about it until someone else feels sad for me!
9) I've been growing increasingly tired of 'stuff.' Feeling a big purge coming on!
10) Lastly, I have been appreciating all of the ways that Chris has taken up my slack around the house since I've been under the weather. He has done so much, on top of the extra hours he has taken at work because of my job loss. I am very blessed to have someone who steps in without complaint and does what needs to be done! I have been blessed by others who have helped or offered to help out in various ways.
1) Last week I went to visit my mom. Josiah had been asking forever when he was going to see his Grammy, and I decided that it was time. It was nice to get away, visit family, and have a break.
2) I had a horrible experience with a bag of rice from a local oriental market. I opened it, and it was crawling...literally. I could not differentiate between the rice itself, maggots, worms, etc... It was the most disgusting thing ever. I wish it had stopped there. I returned it, and then a few days later we started seeing pantry moths. We had to throw out every opened dry good, and we never found the source. We are pretty sure they hatched from something in that rice bag...never again!
3) I am eagerly planning a trip to Quebec City with my sister in December. I am so excited! We have a few really neat things planned.
4) We've been trying to take potty training to the next level, and not sure if I'M ready!
5) I received some very good news about an unexpected Christmas bonus from my old job!
6) I am grieving for a huge loss suffered by some friends this week.
7) As I learn more about parenting, I have very much appreciated a couple of books by James Dobson. Although we have chosen not to spank (and he does suggest it), there are so many other helpful strategies that I am trying. It is so hard to be consistent, loving, and have long-term vision when it comes to these issues. I fail every day, but I keep trying and praying for the wisdom that I so desperately need.
8) Due to the health issues I mentioned, I am completely off of any form of caffeine. This has been a lot easier than I thought it would be. I don't really think about it until someone else feels sad for me!
9) I've been growing increasingly tired of 'stuff.' Feeling a big purge coming on!
10) Lastly, I have been appreciating all of the ways that Chris has taken up my slack around the house since I've been under the weather. He has done so much, on top of the extra hours he has taken at work because of my job loss. I am very blessed to have someone who steps in without complaint and does what needs to be done! I have been blessed by others who have helped or offered to help out in various ways.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Lately, I have been...
...playing hide-and-seek.
...laughing at the grocery store (Josiah said, "Bye-bye sweetie" to all of the ladies we passed on the way out of the store, including all of the cashiers. He also spent most of another trip saying, "I need that, I need that," as he passed things that he thought he couldn't live without. On an errand with Chris, Josiah looked up at a large, inflatable Santa Claus and asked, "It's God?").
...trying to explain to Josiah who God is and why I can't find pictures of him on the Internet.
...loving it when Josiah says a big, long, "Uuuummmmmmm," before he talks.
...making sushi.
...walking in the rain.
...trying to figure out this parenting/disciplining thing.
...reading lots of books, and listening to Josiah 'read' his own books aloud.
...enjoying this season of "The Office", and not looking forward to what is coming at the end of the season!
...thinking about Christmas, how to celebrate, what to buy...
...liking my fixed haircut.
...running out of things.
...tired of meal planning.
...needing a break, and hope I can last until December!
...wondering what will happen next year.
...needing to clean, sort, and organize, but I'm just not in the mood.
...thinking of everyone who has suffered so that I could live free.
...not feeling great some of the time.
...finding used toys for Josiah at Value Village that he loves as much as the new ones, including some vintage 'Little People.'
...appreciating friendships.
...teaching Josiah how to share (How long does this take?!).
...wishing spring was here.
...trying to be content and enjoy each day.
...playing hide-and-seek.
...laughing at the grocery store (Josiah said, "Bye-bye sweetie" to all of the ladies we passed on the way out of the store, including all of the cashiers. He also spent most of another trip saying, "I need that, I need that," as he passed things that he thought he couldn't live without. On an errand with Chris, Josiah looked up at a large, inflatable Santa Claus and asked, "It's God?").
...trying to explain to Josiah who God is and why I can't find pictures of him on the Internet.
...loving it when Josiah says a big, long, "Uuuummmmmmm," before he talks.
...making sushi.
...walking in the rain.
...trying to figure out this parenting/disciplining thing.
...reading lots of books, and listening to Josiah 'read' his own books aloud.
...enjoying this season of "The Office", and not looking forward to what is coming at the end of the season!
...thinking about Christmas, how to celebrate, what to buy...
...liking my fixed haircut.
...running out of things.
...tired of meal planning.
...needing a break, and hope I can last until December!
...wondering what will happen next year.
...needing to clean, sort, and organize, but I'm just not in the mood.
...thinking of everyone who has suffered so that I could live free.
...not feeling great some of the time.
...finding used toys for Josiah at Value Village that he loves as much as the new ones, including some vintage 'Little People.'
...appreciating friendships.
...teaching Josiah how to share (How long does this take?!).
...wishing spring was here.
...trying to be content and enjoy each day.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Weekend Away
We had a visit with my sister and her family on the weekend, so I thought I'd share a few pictures of our time there.
On Saturday, we went downtown and took the ferry. Here are Chris and Josiah by the docks:
This is Josiah and his cousin Wesley:
Chris and Dan:
We missed the first ferry, so we had a bit of time to wait for the second one:
This was Josiah's first experience on a boat of any kind. He wasn't sure what to think...but he's still talking about it!
Dan and Andrea treated us to a really neat, bustling little cafe with a European flair...very enjoyable! Here is Josiah tickling Wesley:
The boys did really well together for the most part. Of course, the usual sharing toys (and mommy) issues, however, Wesley is the first kid that Josiah has willingly shared his precious Bo with! It is very sweet to watch them together.
Bath time was not quite as enjoyable for Josiah. He is still saying, "Wesley splashed, mommy."
It is always hard to come home after being with family, and knowing that I won't see them again for a while. Although, I am looking forward to a weekend away with Andrea in December!
On Saturday, we went downtown and took the ferry. Here are Chris and Josiah by the docks:
This is Josiah and his cousin Wesley:
Chris and Dan:
We missed the first ferry, so we had a bit of time to wait for the second one:
This was Josiah's first experience on a boat of any kind. He wasn't sure what to think...but he's still talking about it!
Dan and Andrea treated us to a really neat, bustling little cafe with a European flair...very enjoyable! Here is Josiah tickling Wesley:
The boys did really well together for the most part. Of course, the usual sharing toys (and mommy) issues, however, Wesley is the first kid that Josiah has willingly shared his precious Bo with! It is very sweet to watch them together.
Bath time was not quite as enjoyable for Josiah. He is still saying, "Wesley splashed, mommy."
It is always hard to come home after being with family, and knowing that I won't see them again for a while. Although, I am looking forward to a weekend away with Andrea in December!
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