Parenting

Parenting is so hard.

I'm not sure if it's the fact that I haven't had a break in forever, or that I am really tired a lot, or if we are just in challenging phase, or maybe all three...

Reading and getting advice sometimes helps, or it sometimes makes things so much worse, mostly because the rules that apply to most kids do not apply to one of mine.

I am in the throws of potty training...except that my kid has actually had this all figured out for the past year. He knows every time before he goes, he hardly ever needs reminding, and he can stay dry forever. This is nothing to do with us, by the way. I used to think it was the training methods, but now I really think a lot of it has to do with each child.

For the past while, Josiah has been using 'potty accidents' as a way of being defiant or getting to us. This morning, because I would not play with him at the time he asked, and told him I would as soon as I finished what I was doing, he pooped all over my laundry piles in the hallway on purpose. When I asked, he said he was mad that I wouldn't play with him. I disciplined him, even though all of the potty resources would advice against it. I have never disciplined for an accident, but this has become a behaviour for whatever reason, and I don't feel that I can let it go.

So after these events, I have even tried backing off of potty training, but he insists on it when he has to go, so I don't really know if I should forbid him (maybe this is how it'll happen best!). It is an ongoing issue because he won't let it go even when I try. I would actually love for him to be in diapers right now. SO much easier than all of this.

I am struggling to meet his needs right now, because they are so huge. He is not the kind of child that responds well to quality time unless it is all day long with no interruptions, which obviously can't happen. All of the books and parenting resources don't know my child...I have tried all of their advice, along with others. I'm just feeling tired today. Tired of nothing working, and of the same old battles that never seem to go away. I know it is the mission of a strong-willed child to win. And I think this is the first day that he has really ever won, and I feel done.

Somehow, this needs to change.

God has been reminding me of this passage in James 1:2-5:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."

I am thankful that when I am at the end of everything I know, and when I have tried every foolish idea known to man, that God invites me to come and ask him for wisdom. I so desperately need it! I wonder how God would have dealt with the poop in the laundry...I think I'll ask him sooner next time!